by AIC David D.
Intro by Dale Russell
As we continue to ask our AIC (Adult in Custody) contacts to share their personal stories with us, it becomes very apparent the God never misses an opportunity to use each of us to further His plans. Our demeanor, our attitude and our heart can be powerful influence on others. The important thing is that we are willing to share and are confident in who we are in our relationship with Jesus. The Holy Spirit takes it from there, as the convincer, persuader, and way maker.
This is the first time AIC David D. has shared his story. It is very personal and revealing how God can take heartbreaking circumstances and create a brand-new person.
Growing up, most of my family were alcoholics or drug addicts. Most were also abusive or had been abused. So, it was almost natural for me to follow in their footsteps. I started using meth at a young age, got married at 19, had my first daughter shortly thereafter, and my second child a year after that. Not dealing with my addiction and abusive behavior caused my wife to do the sensible thing and file for divorce.
I basically gave up on life and had definitely given up on God
I went to treatment right after that. I stayed clean for a whole month and thought I was OK because I only used on the weekends thereafter. I maintained a job and paid my child support but eventually the addiction took over and I went off the deep end.
I basically gave up on life and had definitely given up on God. I stole a pound and a half of marijuana from a man. He wanted it back or he wanted to be paid. Neither was a reality, as I had sold most of it to support my meth habit. Threats were made towards my family and with a little persuasion from a childhood friend and a loaded gun, that man lost his life.
I can never change what I did that night.
After I was arrested and had come down off drugs, it hit me what had happened. I was facing life in prison and I deserved it as I had taken a man’s life. I was found guilty and sentenced to 25 to life.
I felt guilty for what I had done but didn’t know how to process that guilt. The pain I caused his family and mine can never be taken back, no matter how hard I try. I can never change what I did that night.
For several years I turned that guilt and pain into anger. I took it out on everyone around me, even myself. I continue to abuse drugs. I assaulted an officer and was given another 14 months. I assaulted inmates and was never a good person.
I had given up on God and all that religious stuff
About eight years into my sentence, I decided all this had to stop. I wanted to be better. I started looking for classes to take. I found one through the chapel called Anger Management 1. This was taught by one of the most remarkable women I have ever met. We called her Mrs. G. To be honest, the class really wasn’t my idea. I wanted a job in the call center, and they were concerned about my violent past and asked if I would take the class. I agreed.
I hadn’t realized the class was faith based. If I had known I probably wouldn’t have signed up. I had given up on God and all that religious stuff. So, when I got into the class and realized what was going on, I was angry at myself for getting into the situation and angry that I was about to be preached to about the Bible and about God. So, I just sat in class and did what I had to do to pass.
Her attitude slowly began to show me things I never knew before.
But Mrs. G was having none of that. When she saw I wasn’t putting my all into it she called me out on it. But it was in the gentlest of ways. In class she would tell us about her weekend and what she was dealing with. She had a daughter struggling with cancer, family members dying, and things like getting run off the road by a drunk driver. But she was always smiling, always positive, and never gave up on God. Her attitude slowly began to show me things I never knew before.
I really wanted to be like her, as I was tired of being angry. I was tired of being negative and lonely. So, I put everything I had into the class. When it was over, I signed up for Anger II. When that class was done Mrs. G pulled me aside and told me when she first met me, she didn’t know what to do because I was so shut off. I wouldn’t open up. She told me that she now can see such a huge positive change. Her simple words meant so much!
And then one day it hit me. I hadn’t accepted Jesus into my life.
Over the next couple of years I sensed something was still missing. I struggled to figure out what it was. Then a friend of mine was talking about reading the Bible. I asked him if he had an extra one. He did. So, I started reading every day. Then I signed up for chapel and began attending every week. And then one day it hit me. I hadn’t accepted Jesus into my life. The next week at chapel the pastor got up and said if there’s anyone who hasn’t accepted Jesus Christ into their life and would like to do that now, please raise your hand. I raised my hand.
I accepted Jesus into my life that night and my life has never been the same. I wake up happy every day and I’m still in prison serving a life sentence! I’m OK with that. I’m still learning, I still get mad, I still struggle. But when I do, I have God to help me through. And he has never failed me. He began by showering me with forgiveness. This was such a discovery and release! He brought me into a new family of encouraging people. This was like having many Mrs. Gs to replace my lost family.
My God says who I am now
I am now confident my past does not say who I am. My God says who I am now. My uniform might suggest I have a past, but I don’t live there anymore.
No matter where you are, no matter how negative your surroundings might be, no matter what, God is with you and me.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
Thank you for allowing me to share. I hope my words can bring something positive into someone’s life.
God bless, David D.
YOUR NEXT STEPS?
Do you have a response to David’s story? Please consider how you can speak into the lives of our partners behind bars. If you have some encouraging words about your own personal journey with God, we will add it to the next inmate newsletter to be seen by over 400 AIC. Email your note to; dale@visionsofhope.org